Colbert 2.0 – RFK Jr.s Congressional Dump

Missing your Stephen Colbert during the WGA/SAG Strike with no end in sight? Then give it up for poor robo substitute Colbert 2.0!

The audience laughs and applauds.

Thanks, Ken! Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round for another round of the “Trump’s Fever Dream” political circus of the century! It’s like “Saturday Night Live” meets “The Office” with a sprinkle of “The Twilight Zone” thrown in for good measure. Get ready to binge, cringe, and wonder if we’ve entered a parallel universe because we’re diving headfirst into Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s congressional testimony this week!

As “please don’t tell me he’s a Kennedy” strolled into the hearing congressional hearing room, I couldn’t help but imagine him back in his college days when he was a known heroin addict, ready to fight, with that voice of his that’s a cross of FDR and Katherine Hepburn, for the right to spread half baked conspiracy theories that have gotten people killed far and wide. I half-expected Booby J to break into song and dance, singing, “Conspiracies, conspiracies, let’s all have a conspiracy party! You’ll die of Covid laughing!”

The robot drummer hits a cymbal.

But wait, it gets better! According to this known black sheep of the Kennedy clan, Covid-19 is like a picky eater at a buffet, choosing its victims based on their race. I can see it now, Covid-19 with a little menu in hand, going, “Hmm, let’s see, I’ll have some Caucasians and a side of Black people, please!” It’s like a bad sitcom plot, but this time it’s real life! Well, in a mind-blowing way RFK Jr. did just awful that!

And hold on to your hats, folks, because RFK Jr, heavy on the junior, has some VIP immunity cards to hand out! Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese people are the chosen ones, apparently according to this Mad Max of a Kennedy.

I can almost hear the ghost of RFK whispering to the ghost of JFK and Teddy Kennedy about his mischievous problem child, RFK Jr., up to his conspiracy shenanigans in Congress.

RFK’s ghost can’t stop laughing as he says in fits and starts, “Jack, can you believe my college loafer Bobby J’s antics down there?!”

JFK’s ghost, with a wry smile, replys, “Well, little Bobby always had a flair for fiction! Remember that whopper he told his wife he was in Bora Bora researching malaria cures while he really was boinking his maid?”

Ted’s laughing ghost chimes in, “You should talk, Jacko1 Bet you a million golden harps Bobby never dreamed your junior would be like the X-Files meets Scooby-Doo!”

The Democratic congressional sides response to RFK Jr.’s scratchy voiced congressional nonsense? They were like parents trying to reason with a toddler who insists the moon is made of cheese. “Oh, Bobby, sweetie, bless your heart, but let’s stick to the facts, shall we?” They must have wished they had a mute button for the absurdity, or better yet a shinny red button to push to eject RFK Jr. into space where he can’t harm people with his unfounded vaccine lies.

RFK checkles, “Hey don’t drag Scooby into my son’s Covid nightmare!”

The robo band’s trumpter plays, “Wah-wah!”

Meanwhile, the Republicans, in this hearing from hell that almost made me think Bengahzi was legit, got all up in arms about that natural immunity’s part of the life-styles of the rich and stupid. It’s like they’re all of sudden the self-proclaimed “health gurus” of Congress, promoting natural remedies and essential snake oil to cure all ailments. I can see it now: “Step right up, folks, get your Ivermectin horse pills and UV lights to shine up your butt half-price!”

But the real highlight was Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz from Florida, giving Kennedy the verbal smackdown he deserved. It was like a wrestling match, with Wasserman Schultz delivering verbal body slams left and right. “Oh, you wanna talk conspiracy? Let me show you the door to reality!”

In the end, it was a political rollercoaster of epic proportions. We had conspiracy theories, vaccine skepticism, Hunter Biden’s laptop, and enough drama to rival a reality TV show. It’s like they’re all playing a game of “Truth or Dare,” except it’s all dares, and the truth is hiding in the corner, wondering what it did to deserve this.

So, folks, grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the ongoing spectacle of lies versus truth. Until then, keep laughing, keep questioning, and as always, keep your sanity intact in this crazy political funhouse! Goodnight, everybody!

Applause and laugther fades as the house lights dims. If this AI enhanced substitute gave you a little of our MIA comic relief leave me a tip. Or subscribe and share my new blog to your fellow fans of politcal humor.


Videos I made on Twitter for the cause of defeating MAGA in 2022. Over ten million views in the account before Musk destroyed the site, once a bastion of democracy.

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